Numbing, Dissociating, Disconnecting...The Body

What is embodiment?

I had been working on a webinar for embodiment practices for women, and my partner asked me that question. Pause…annoyed…it seemed like a big ask over a sink full of dishes and soap, where do I even begin?

And, then it settled into my body…it wasn’t so big after all. Embodiment is listening to the body, connecting with the body, and not just being in my head all the time.

That is the simplified version of things.

What embodiment and the few simple practices I do on daily or, at least regular basis, is profound. It is like my whole nervous system has become rewired for me.

Embodiment: What it Is and What it Isn’t

Our bodies hold so much knowledge. And for much of my life, as a psychotherapist, I have relied heavily on the mind. The cognitions/thoughts we have, where our feelings come from, the fight/flight or freeze response, the reasons we do what we do, behave how we behave and more. The body, other then keeping it healthy through sleep, nutrition and exercise, was not the focus of therapy. The mind held all of the answers.

Fast forward to a few years ago when I began my journey as a midlife woman into why I was not having sex anymore. And, the body started coming back online for me. it was like sleeping beauty had been kissed by the prince and was now awakening once again. Birds were chirping, pleasure was bubbling and life was an animated fairy tale, kind of. This new found body awareness I was having was not brought on by talk therapy. But, by actually using my body to breath, move, attune to, be touched and sound. Everything that I thought I knew shifted.

For me, embodiment is:

  • body awareness

  • movement, dance yes, but moving my body at other times too

  • visualization and dropping my awareness into my body

  • Sensory awareness, cuing into all the senses: sound, touch, taste, sight, smell and intuition/inner knowingness.

  • Relaxation

  • self-regulation tools to manage distress

  • mindfulness

  • connection and intimacy through vulnerability and curiosity

  • self-acceptance and love through compassion

  • Empathy and slowing down

The body became a tool for not just pleasure, but also healing and connecting on deeper levels with myself. Allowing myself to feel all the feelings, even the uncomfortable and painful ones, on a deeper and more fully aware level. The body, my body, had wisdom, memories, knowledge and more.

What are the symptoms or results of not being embodied?

  • depression, anxiety

  • somatic issues like IBS, eating disorders, aches and pains

  • Feelings of disconnection and loneliness

  • Dissociating and disconnecting from the body

  • Tension and not being at ease, feeling unsafe

  • lack of exercise, movement, being sedentary

  • Feeling like you don’t belong, your an outsider

  • Directing any body tension or discomfort back to the head to create a story about what is happening in order to not feel the discomfort.

  • overeating, under eating, unhealthy eating

  • numbing behaviors like drinking, shopping, substance use, excessive electronics

There are simple practices using breath, sound, movement and touch, along with presence to reconnect you with your body. When you use these tools that are available, you will create more meaning in your life and establish a better relationship with yourself. In doing that, you will create more intimacy and connection with others.

Instead of reacting to situations, you will slow down, check in with yourself and hold space for all the feelings. You will not go into immediate stories and old neural pathways around themes like abandonment, distrust, fear, abuse, victimization and more. Instead you will respond intelligently and from a place of feeling safe and emotionally balanced. Your nervous system will find a new way of being in the world and not have to be so hypervigiliant on protecting you and making sure you are safe.

Embodiment practices can create healing of the old wounds from childhood, past relationships and not getting your needs met by someone else. You will find a space in which you can handle better those things outside of the realm of your control and create greater discernment for those things that fall into your area of control, doing something about them.

I know this, because I live it.

My truest belief is this, find a coach or training around the Somatic, learn the tools to be in your body more, use the practices every day and see what life begins to unfold for you.

AUTHENTICALLY YOURS, CHRISTIE BEMIS

Christie is a psychotherapist in private practice in Madison, Wisconsin.  She is a mama, a wife, a writer, and an artist.  Visit www.hotpinkyou.com for more information.  Email at hotpinkyou@gmail.com. For more information on coaching with Christie opportunities, CLICK HERE

She is also a writer, co-authoring Ignite Your Life and a speaker. You can find her Wisdom Cards on sale now. Co-Founder and CEO of Hot Pink YOUniversity


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Christie Gause-Bemis