What is Somatica® Coaching for Relationships?

I spent the past year on a personal and professional journey unlike any other. Studying with the Somatica® Institute was a surprise to me. A surprise because seldom do I run into any new information in life, much of it is recycled information just packaged differently by the person presenting it. But, this was different, refreshing, challenging and all new to me.

Somatica® tools have changed the way I do my work with individuals and with couples, as well as making a profound impact in my own relationships.

What’s so new?

Well, in talk therapy, that is just what we do…TALK. With Somatica® we have a “felt” experience. Here are the ways this is so different for me:

  1. The felt experience: In real time we practice together. And, I get to tell you what I am experiencing in relationship to you. If what you just said, or how you just said it, has an impact on me, I express that. If you just laid out something vulnerable, I get to say, “that really makes me feel more connected to you.” Or, if you just shared what turns you on, I express to you, “that IS hot”, if indeed it does something for me. And, if something you are doing or saying brings up some frustration, disconnect or confusion, expressing that feedback to you in real time will help support you in the relationships you desire to have. That feedback of the felt experience in your presence will support changes you may need to make when with your partner, family or loved one.

  2. Touch: We are all so intensely touch deprived. When I am wearing my psychotherapist hat, there is NO TOUCH. Ethically, it is a violation for me…humanly, it is not authentic to how I interact. When I am wearing my Sex Educator & Relationship Coach hat, there is touch. And, there is power in that touch. What if you just need a held experience? To feel deeply cared for and held can be incredibly healing. What if you are trying to make changes in how comfortable you are with touch? There is something powerful about experiencing that with a trained practitioner and working out the kinks or cringes with someone that can hold space for that. The touch has boundaries and is safely contained in the work we are doing together.

  3. Attunement of self and others: Dropping into your body for the answers requires some practice. We are all so wound up in our head, in our stories, in our interpretations of what the body is feeling, that we forget to actually check in with the body. The skill of attunement will change the way you show up in relationships.

  4. The Expert in the Room is YOU: When we go to talk therapy, the therapist is often seen as the expert and there is a cloak of superior knowledge in that. With Somatica® I get to be human. I have shared experiences that help dispel your shame, increase you desire to be vulnerable with me as you hear my disclosures and ways I flounder my way through life or succeed. There is no perfection in the room. Only real human beings having real human experiences.

What has been refreshing for my career path, has also been incredibly transformative for my personal relationships. Learning about my own patterns, my own shame, my own triggers, my attachment style, how I handle disappointing others, or when they disappoint me…all of these skills have deepened my ability to communicate. And, when we deepen our ability to communicate, we deepen our intimacy and connection with others.

For more information about the Somatica® Method, check out Celeste’s and Danielle’s blog.

AUTHENTICALLY YOURS, CHRISTIE BEMIS


Christie is a psychotherapist in private practice in Madison, Wisconsin.  She is a mama, a wife, a writer, and an artist.  Visit www.hotpinkyou.com for more information.  Email at hotpinkyou@gmail.com. For more information on coaching with Christie opportunities, CLICK HERE

She is also a writer, co-authoring Ignite Your Life and a speaker. You can find her Wisdom Cards on sale now. Co-Founder and CEO of Hot Pink YOUniversity


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Christie Gause-Bemis